Soulmate

I’ve asked myself a couple of times over these past few days, “Do I need someone in my life right now? And if so, do I need a specific someone?” and I believe that is a double affirmative. Without analyzing the differences that are inherent in philial love as opposed to conjugal love and what constitutes a simple platonic relationship, I have come to realize I very definitely need someone to share moments with as they happen, and for a long time I was blindsided by ephemeral events into thinking that none of the people around me was fulfilling that role. The word “soulmate” is not one to be tossed off idly, but it had been said in an unguarded tone and it was right—then. I’ve only just concluded that once it is right, it is forever right.
I have said and done some foolish things in fits of cynicism and rancor. I long for a return to innocence. Innocence with insight, however, not naiveté. Awareness can be a fine thing before it blooms into the black rose of cynicism. Sophistication is only a short step from sophistry. Those of us who become alert to signs and mannerisms are sometimes all too ready to pat ourselves on the back and congratulate ourselves on the hardening of our hearts against the pain of involvement, but cynicism hurts, too. And the after-pain can be much greater than the other because there is always the knowledge in the aftermath of involvement that whatever went wrong is our own fault. Indeed, if one is so intelligent as to “see through” the motives of friendship, one should likewise be smart enough to find solutions to problems and take action. Not everything can happen by attrition. To be forewarned (and proverbially forearmed) and yet allow the bad to happen is socially criminal and at the very least, laziness. Who has a right to cry over their own laziness?
So, yes, I need a specific someone, and I know it is time to get off my duff and do the right thing. One should never run away from love in any of its forms nor be, nor pretend to be, blind to its presence.